You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you win again, gameday.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
