help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
