I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
