All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
