an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
