gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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