i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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