so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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