Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
