how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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