the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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