I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
NoShamevember. You game?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
