And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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