did you get engaged???
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
