One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
