he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
