: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
