I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
someone owes me an orgasm
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
