I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
