I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
