please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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