Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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