Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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