I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
