Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
