i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
