literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
