you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
