I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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