Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
