called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
