maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
