I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
