You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
