In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
