i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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