she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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