OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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