there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
