ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
