my soul wont recognize me after tonight
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
