I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
