Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
