i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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