I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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