what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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