just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
