he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
