I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
