This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
