she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My vagina is officially offended.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
