I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
