hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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