It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You took a bar mat shot.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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