Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
